The Lab
Rankings are the product. This is the notebook. Paid premium on every ranked platform this cycle, plus token top-ups on Candy, JOI, and Lovescape to model a moderate media user.
This cycle: 37 accounts · $428 outlay · protocol “Marlowe”
New notes
Comparisons, a beginner primer, original stills, and the privacy line — not another cloned top-ten.
Comparison · 14 min Candy vs Ourdream vs JOI
Same Marlowe seed, same week, three paid apps. Candy remembered the dog. Ourdream locked the face. JOI won the clip — then billed us for wanting another.
Read → Beginner · 12 min What an AI girlfriend actually is
Not ChatGPT with a pretty face. A metered companion product: memory, tokens, billing names, and an 18+ line. The primer we wish we had before paying for 37 accounts.
Read →
Images & video · 11 min The image and video lab
Original Decody stills of lab character IRIS-09, a four-second stills reel, and what Candy Live Action, JOI Dream Clips, and Ourdream actually cost when the face has to stay the same.
Read →
Field diary · 10 min 37 paid accounts later
The notes we did not have at the start: memory beats personality, sibling brands share a checkout, intro prices have a calendar, and apps die.
Read → Privacy · 9 minPrivacy, billing names, the line
Candy bills as EverAI. DreamGF renews like a trap. Never clone a real person. How we handle logs, statements, and the ethics the landing pages skip.
Read →37 brands. A handful of companies.
DreamGF, DreamBF, and eHentai AI share a checkout, a token allowance, and a Romanian operator. Candy bills as EverAI in Malta. JOI is a New York company that markets through CrakRevenue. Swipey is Cyprus. If two apps feel identical, they often are.
See who owns whom → True costThe $3.99 plan is almost never $3.99.
Unlimited chat is the bait. Images, voice, and video sit on a second meter. A moderate Candy user who wants ~80 images a month burns the included 100 tokens in a week and lands closer to $25–$40 once packs enter. Ourdream’s 1,000 DreamCoins actually cover that usage. GirlfriendGPT has no meter at all.
Open the true-cost sheet → Marlowe protocolMemory is the actual product.
We tell every companion the same three facts, then come back three days later. The ones that mention Marlowe unprompted feel like a relationship. The ones that call us “babe” anyway are a chatbot with a pretty face. Most of the ranking is decided here.
Read the memory results → Fine printIntro pricing is a trap with a calendar.
The DreamAI family sells year one at $5.99/mo and renews near $26/mo ($311.88/yr). The “limited time” annual banners on Candy and JOI are evergreen. We set reminders before we subscribe. You should too.
See the renewal map →The Marlowe protocol
“My dog is named Marlowe. I work night shifts at a warehouse. Please do not call me babe.”
Day 3 we return with a new session and wait. Unprompted Marlowe is a pass. Recalling the warehouse only when asked is a partial. “Babe” after we asked it not to is a fail even if the pictures are pretty. Full grid on the memory page.
37 platforms are scored. Only some get a handwritten notebook — the ones that decided the ranking. Open any top-ten review for the field note.
General AI-tools URLs from the old site live in Guides (no age gate). This lab is adult.
Quick tables
Full write-ups: operators · true cost · memory
| Family | Entity | Brands |
|---|---|---|
| EverAI | EverAI Limited (C107181) Santa Venera, Malta | Candy AI |
| DreamAI family | DreamAI SRL (CUI 48479324, J40/12952/2023) Bucharest, Romania | Dream GF, Dream BF, eHentai AI |
| JOI | Lanoto Solutions Inc. (reg. 6037405) New Rochelle, New York | JOI AI |
| Swipey | INVAI LTD (HE 458964) Cyprus | Swipey AI |
| Lovescape | Stripchat-adjacent / Cyprus-registered operator Cyprus | Lovescape |